Review: Jopen Vanity Vr3

Before I get into this review, let me let you in on a little (not-so) secret…

Jopen = Cal Exotics

I don’t know why they did it.  It’s confusing and kinda shady.

I mean, I can guess why they did it.  They made a line of toys that don’t suck, and they wanted them to have some distance from some of the other toys they make that do suck.  I get that.  But at the same time, these vibes really don’t suck. If I was Cal Exotics, I’d be all “Hey!  Look what we made!  It totally doesn’t suck!  Put this is your vagina!  We made it and it’s actually kinda awesome!”

But that’s just me.

So…Vanity by Jopen…

First of all, I wasn’t sure what to expect.  But I am impressed.  The Vr3 has flaws (as do the others in this line, I am sure), but it is much more badass than I expected it to be.

The packaging certainly leaves a lot to be desired.  Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled that a Cal Exotics toy doesn’t come in standard tacky clam shell packaging, but a pricey luxury toy should come in a nicer box.  Instead, the vibrators in the Vanity line come in plain white cardboard boxes with a big ass Vanity logos on them.  The first thing you see when you open the box is a piece of frosted vellum that reads like a sales pitch…which is obviously unnecessary, considering you’ve probably already purchased the vibe if you’re opening the box.  But whatever.  The box also include the charger, manual, vibrator and a ginormous black drawstring storage bag with the word Jopen on it in white.  The storage bag is huge.  You could fit the whole damn box and then some in there.  It’s kinda nice because you can fit the Vr3, the charger, some lube, and anything else you want in there.  But I was initially just super confused as to why the bags for these vibrators are so massive.

So…the Vr3 is a rabbit style vibrator made of silicone.  What’s that you say?  You doubt the quality of Cal Exotics silicone?  Yeah…I get that.  Luckily, Epiphora flame tested one of these babies…and it passed.  No meltage occurred, but a sooty mark remained on her Vr9.  She got an explanation from Metis Black (of Tantus) that the soot is due to oils in the silicone, but it is odd that it didn’t wash right off.  In spite of the slightly strange results of the flame test, Epiphora believes these toys are made of 100% silicone, and I am inclined to agree with her.  If you’re worried, either don’t share your toys or use a condom if you plan to.

Now that that’s out of the way…every picture of the Vanity line shows them as a sort of safe, muted purple color.  They are fuchsia.  Not a problem for me, as I actually prefer the color they are to the color they are advertised as, but it really bothers me that not one picture that I have seen shows the actual color.  And if I hated fuchsia or loved purple, I’d be kinda pissed when I opened the box.

what you see...and what you get

Product photo issues aside, I really like the way the Vr3 looks.  I’m diggin’ the design.  There are a few different styles of rabbits in the vanity line, and this is the one that looked most like it would fit my anatomy.  I’ve got the Lelo Ina and it is not my friend.  It clamps down on my clit like it wants to destroy it, and it is hurty (if that sounds like something you might enjoy, check out the Vr6.  It’s Ina-esque).  I thought this shape looked less clampy.  And it is.

The silicone covering the Vr3 feels velvety and has a bit of drag.  It will attract lint and pet hair, but not like some softer, squishier silicone will.  This vibrator is pretty rigid, but both the insertable portion and the clitoral arm have a little bit of flex to them.  There is a seem that runs the length of the entire toy, but I don’t notice it at all during use.

The Vr3 is waterproof and rechargeable.  The charging port is not closed, but I submerged the sucker to test it out anyway, and all is well.  Mine actually came charged, and I haven’t had to recharge it yet. 

The fact that it is waterproof mean it’s super easy to clean too.  Soap and water, toy wipes, or wiping it down with a ten percent bleach solution will all do the trick.  Oh, and because it’s silicone, you should only use water based lube with this toy.

The controls on the Vr3 seem straightforward enough, but they never cease to frustrate me.  There are two buttons…the top button controls the insertable portion of this vibrator and the bottom button controls the clitoral arm.  The buttons light up when pressed (or when the Vr3 is charging).  A press of either button will turn the corresponding part of the vibrator on to the lowest setting.

In order to increase the strength of the vibrations, you have to press and hold the buttons.  The lights will flash faster and faster until you have reached the highest setting, at which point they will glow steadily for as long as you depress the button.  If at any time while the vibrator is on you simply press and release the buttons, you’ll shut it off.  It’s really not so bad once you get the hang of it, but I guess I am really used to simply pushing and releasing to increase vibration strength, and I get mad at myself every time I accidentally turn this toy off.

Speaking of vibration strength…it’s pretty awesome.  Like…holyfuckballs rumbly.  I like.  Normally, internal vibrations are not something that I’ll rave about.  It’s not that I don’t like them, but they normally don’t do much for me.  Well, this toy is the exception to that rule.  Maybe it’s the awesomely strong and rumbly vibrations coupled with the perfect shape of the toy, but it makes my g-spot very happy.  This toy is not perfect for my anatomy…the clitoral arm is a teeny bit short to perfectly please my clit, but if I crank both motors up to high, the internal vibrations seem to help push me over the edge and somehow make my clit pretty happy too.  I’m way impressed.

So…I can’t say for certain that I feel the Vr3 is worth the $147.00 price tag, but you could definitely spend your money in worse ways.  Oh, and if you aren’t 100% sold on the shape, Babeland carries a couple of the other Vanity vibrators, too.  If you wanna lay down the cash, choose wisely.

Thanks, Babeland!